Dennis Irwin Crocodile hunter

Friday

after Thursdays session I was pretty tired so I just did a 40 minute run in the morning to the track to watch Karl, Nick,  Jake and Zane do a session. The session went pretty well for me as I just lied on the grass listening to music whilst watching all of them train hard. I think watching a session at altitude is more benificial than watching a session at sea level so overall I was quite pleased with myself. 

                                                 Big track session

I was also happy that Nick managed to run the right way round the track and the fact that his willing to train hard in order to loose much needed weight. Keep it up Nick, You're no pussy man!

Saturday


Me and Nick got up early to do a hill session so that In the afternoon we could go cliff Jumping like Sly Stallone in the film Cliffhanger. We did 15x100m hill sprints with hop down recovery, I struggled with the hopping after the 8th rep but Nick was going strong with all the previous hopping his been doing before I got here, he could tell I was struggling a little with the hopping but kept saying "aye man were no pussies man" I found this really motivating and managed to get through the next 7 hop recoveries quite well.
after we had our rice and beans for dinner we headed up to Kerio View so that we could practice our cliff rock jumping

                                   Jumping from cliff to cliff being lads

Before the cliff jumping began me and Nick had to decide what was the best footwear to use, we had to decide which had the best grip, what would take the most impact and most importantly what would make us look really stylish like David Dickinson or Trevor Mcdonald.
I choose to wear the Salomon Crossmax and Nick choose the Salomon Speedcross, after all of our jumping we knew we made the right choice as we managed to jump really well and most importantly we survived. Karl didn't take part as he didn't have the right footwear but he did do a good job of taking the photos.
Me and Nick decided after all the jumping that when we get back home we will concentrate on getting to the Krypton factor and winning it.

Sunday


Me Karl and Jake got up at 6am to do our long run so that we had plenty of time to go crocodile hunting like my childhood hero Dennis Irwin. The run went quite well, I managed 2 hours and felt that as each stride went on I was getting strong like I RON MaN.
We headed into town around 10 am and got a taxi to the lake. It took about 50 minutes to get there and was all downhill, it was ridiculously hot in the taxi and at times one of us would say " It's quite hot in here"
Like yesterday Me and Nick had to decide the correct footwear and yet again we both choose the Salomon, this yet again was the RIGHT decision.
When we arrived we walked along a steel girder bridge with a 100ft drop into the Croc infested water, only me and Nick did this as Karl didn't have the right footwear.

               Walking the steel bridge just like on Gladiators before the travelator

Soon as we both crossed we looked down into the water and we could see a Crocodile sunbathing, it looked like the crocodile who modelled for designer brand Lacoste

                                               The Lacoste model

One thing that worried me about this day is that Me and Nick would be challenging each other to do stupid things like see who could go into the water for the longest or wrestle one of them, luckily we didn't challenge each other to do anything and without saying anything we both started climbing down the cliff trying to get as close tho the Crocs, Karl stayed on top of the cliff and did a good job of taking the photos, this was mainly due to the fact he wasn't wearing Salomon footwear.

                                     Climbing the cliffs like Sly Stallone 

When we got to the bottom we waited for a couple of minutes to see if a Crocodile would come out to try and eat us, they didn't as they were being pussies man. We then had to cross the river and climb up the other cliff to see if we could get any Crocs to come out.

                            The Salomon footwear are built to tackle any terrain

I'm quite confident that after all of our climbing that we both have a good chance of making the Krypton factor final or being stuntmen in Cliffhanger 2. Luckily we both managed to survive probably due to the fact that we choose the right footwear Salomon. It's safe to say that me and Nick are like the Hall and Oates of Crocodile hunting/rock climbing.

                                                      Cliffhanger 2

Nothing much happened on Monday or Tuesday due to the fact we were recovering from the weekend and we were training hard like Rocky in Rocky 4, like when his training in the snow lifting trees up and big weights. The best thing that happened was Tuesday afternoon when we did a photo shoot with Tuskins Snr.

                                          Serious faced Tuskins Snr

We're hoping that we can get Tuskins snr a movie career, our dream would be for him to play the dog sidekick in I am Ladgend 2 starring our favourite movie actor/singer of all time Will Smith

                                                Zombie Tuskins Snr

Tuskins Snr is like the dog version of Hollywood movie mega Star Johnny Depp, he can play various roles like comedy + action but his main speciality is horror, particularly Zombie movies.


Eldoret to get the last of our food shopping and to book Nick's flight back to Narobi. We went to one of the main supermarkets Nakurmart, soon as we walked in me and Nick spotted the two most stunning things you could ever lay your eyes on.
3 Litre chrome flasks

                            The thought of having 3 litres of tea made us happy

after the shopping before heading back to Iten we decided to have dinner in Eldoret, Karl had chips and beef burger and me and Nick choose the ultimate lads dinner. Ugali Matumbo which is intestines and a Malta Guinness. This dinner set me up for the big battle the next day.

                                           The ultimate lads dinner

Thursday


Yet again this was another group fartlek session but this time Karl joined me for battle and Nick came along on the warm up for team motivational speaker. During our warm up three Germans passed us who were on the way to the start of fartlek. Me and Karl both looked at each other and nodded as if into say let battle commence.

                                            Just before the big battle

We arrived at the start of the fartlek and as usual there were around 200 Kenyans waiting to tow the line for the battle with me Karl and the Germans all at the back. Few words were spoken we looked at each other like when Rocky looked at Tommy Gunn in Rocky 5 before they had a big street fight.
The session was 2 minutes off 1 minute, I did 12 and Karl did 10. The Germans were quite away off us and Victory was ours.
I make that two world wars, one world cup and to add to that one fartlek.

JT

Fartleks, Tempo's and Boybands

So I've got my daily routine down to a tee down, my alarm goes off at 7.30 I get up and stuff my face with bread (3 slices) then I get back into bed, sometimes If I'm tired I go back to sleep but most of the time I read a book or do my tiger drawing.

                                                         My tiger


I usually run at about 10am get back do some core whilst listening to Will smith and then I have a cold shower and head into town for some rice and beans. Whilst walking into town we discovered a new place called California Hotel, here you can get Rice & beans 2 cups of tea and 3 Chapatis for about 80p, I know the price is quite expensive but it all goes to the upkeep of the building.

                                                  New food place


Thursday
I started the day off as I usually do but today was a session day, I met Nick biscuit chin Swinburn outside my house and we both ran to the hill we call Steven Seagal after the famous Hollywood actor mega movie star man, we call this hill Steven Seagal because it's big and you wouldn't mess with it. 
We did 3 minute 2 minute 1 minute off jog down recovery, before we started Nick said "aye man I'm not doing them hard like as I'm doing a session in the evening like" we ended up racing every rep, after the 3 minute effort I felt sick, after the 2 minute I could breathe and after the 1 minute we felt really fast like a super market sweep contestant. We were both happy with this session as we got to progress through to the next round.
Rather than relaxing in the afternoon we played a game of keep'y up's and Nick got what was coming to him after shooting at Victor.

                                       Zane shooting at Nick and Jake


I got roped into doing a 9K tempo in the evening with Zane Nick Karl and 4 other Kenyan's, I only ended up doing it because Nick said "aye man don't be a pussy" with only 10 minutes left to go and get ready for the session I ran to my house and put on my running uniform. I'm no pussy man.
Zane set off ridiculously fast with the 4 Kenyan's closely behind followed by Nick Karl then me. I was still tired from the morning session so struggled to keep up, after 4k I caught 3 of the Kenyan's with Zane leading from Kenyan alex the 26 year old World Junior hopeful then Nick Karl and me. It stayed in that order till the end and I ended up finishing in 30 minutes which was enough to help me progress to the next round.


We were pretty restricted on what we could do at the weekend as we all wanted to watch the World indoors. Friday evening me Zane, Jake, Karl and Nick went to watch the 3000m heats at The Lornah Kipligat centre. Whilst there I noticed it was full of foreigners looking really miserable not talking to one another sat staring at their laptops, us on the other hand were all laughing having a good time. It's a nice place but for £30 a night that Is what you would expect, I'm quite happy paying £1 a night for my house with a cold shower and mattress on the floor.
When leaving I was thinking of what it reminded me of, then it came to me. It was like the film Titanic, there all on the top deck dressing up smartly pretending to be enjoying themselves where as where on the bottom deck having the times of our lives dancing on top of the tables.


We ended up watching the World's at Sylvia Kibets house on Sunday, it was pretty strange as she was competing in the women's 3000m final. Pretty much all of her family and friends where there watching, roughly about 30 people. It was tense on the last lap as she narrowly missed out on a medal, after we watched this we went back to Nick's and had a brew with Big Denzil who has somehow managed to get a gunshot wound and is now leaking, I'm sure he will pull through and will still provide us with our daily brews.


The most exciting thing that happened on Monday was going to the water tank and filling up 20, 10 litre water bottles so that we could wash our dishes and make food with it.

                                                 Collecting water like


Nick wasn't helping as he was to busy stuffing his face with Spaghetti.

                                          Nick doing what he does best


I've been having my usual weird altitude dreams again, I think Wednesday's Nights dream topped them all off.
I dreamed that Duncan from Blue rang me up asking me if I wanted to join a reformed Blue that Consisted of him Anthony Costa and Bradley from S club, I was a bit taken back as I'm more of a dancer than a singer. Before I knew it I was performing on stage in front of a packed out arena, I was quite nervous as I knew I couldn't sing and I didn't want to let the fan's down. 2 minutes into the song and I was struggling to sing and really letting the band down, all of a sudden Duncan stopped the song and mistook my singing for Bradley from S club, luckily I was off the hook.
I'm not to sure if I should be worry about having strange dreams like this or if I should feel honoured that Duncan picked me out of millions of other people to join a reformed Blue.
Not sure why I dreamed


Early this morning I jogged 20 minutes down the road from my apartment to join one of the fartlek sessions. When I arrived there was about 200+ Kenyans hanging around waiting for the session to start. I felt that I really stood out as I was the only person there wearing green trainers.
The session was 1 minute on 1 minute off, I started at the back as I wasn't to sure which direction we were heading, we all jogged for 1 minute and started the reps. 4 reps in and I was still feeling good, I could still see a few women in front of me but wasn't to worried as it was still early on. after the 6th rep I went past all of the women and as Karl would say I showed them the way to the kitchen!
The only thing I struggled with was the recovery as it's tough to breathe at altitude after running fast, I was in front of a lot of people after the 10th rep but the leaders were quite a way in front. I'm pretty sure a lot of the people at the front are tempo running it as they didn't seem to be slowing down. I ended up doing 16 reps in total and was quite pleased with the session, I feel that after doing this session I'm on the road to discovering who I am as a person. When I finished the last rep I decided to do a long cool down but ended up getting lost, I cooled down for 53 minutes and it was safe to say I was the most cooled down I have ever been!


I'm looking forward to this weekend as me Nick and Karl are going Crocodile fishing at one of the lakes about 30 miles from where we live, we plan on going to the butchers and getting some bait. I'm sure I will be fine as I used to watch Dennis Irwin Crocodile hunter when I was young so my knowledge on Crocodile fishing is pretty good!


JT

High altitude eating

Big session day!

I started Saturday off with a morning session at  10am, my alarm goes off at 7.30 so I can eat some breakfast which is just 3 slices of bread. I lie in bed for another hour psyching myself up by listening to some Will Smith.

So I'm out the door at 9.45am and do a 20 min warm up with Karl and Nick who are both going to the track. My session was a 9k tempo starting across the road from my house, when I set off I felt like I was the bus in Speed starring Keanu Reeves. If I dropped below 6 minute miling I would blow up or just have a rubbish session which is the most realistic of the two.

I managed to do the loop in 31 minutes which meant I didn't drop below 6 minute miling, I really feel that Keanu Reeve's would be proud of me!
In the afternoon we watched Zane's brother Jake on the Internet compete in the Olympic trials in Melbourne in the 5000m, he ran 13.28 just missing out on the Olympic standard. Whilst we watched this one of the Kenyan's Alex told us how his hoping to qualify for the world juniors this year, he was laughing as he told us this as his real age is 26!
The second session of the day happened in the evening. The chapatis challenge. The competition was between me Zane, Karl and big Nick Swinburn, we got Victor who helps out around the village to go into town on a bike and pick up 80 chapatis and 3 ndengu which is a sort of lentil based soup. He arrived back about 40 minutes later with the food and the competition was underway. Karl went for the single eating with ketchup on technique, Zane cut his up and put it into the ndengu, I tried folding mine up and eating 10 at once

                                                 The 10 technique

 but after 2 bites I realised this was a bad technique, as usual Nick was stuffing his face as fast as he could, which he does on a regular basis.

                                        It's rare you see Nick without food

 3 Hours later and the competition was over, Zane was the quickest and managed 18, Karl ate 11.5 and I managed 11.85. It took me about 1 hour to eat half a chapatis, it wasn't so much the amount it was more the taste of the oil and watching Nick eat them barely even chewing the chapatis.

                                         after the competition in a bad way

 He managed 20 so was joint winner with Zane, I'm a little disappointed with my performance but I put it down to the altitude and not being as fat as Nick who is kind of like the Neville Southall of running.

                                                       Nick in action

Sunday morning me and Karl went for a 90 minute run starting from our house to the rainforest and back, it's kind of weird when your in the rainforest as it doesn't feel like Kenya it sort of feels like being in Borneo Malaysia or the forest from the film Predator starring Ron Schzanheider. Once we had finished the run me Karl and Nick went to Kerio view  to watch the Newcastle vs Sunderland game, which is about the Geordies vs the strange breed of people the Mackems. Near the end of the game we where joined by Myles Edwards who arrived out here for a second stint on Monday, during the Man United vs Tottenham game we sat down and stuffed our faces at the buffet, me Karl and Myles went up twice and Nick went up 3 times due to his eating problem.

Monday was another session day for me, I did a 15x30 seconds off 30 seconds hill session. It was pretty good doing the session as there were a few Kenyan's doing longer hill reps so I had people to pass, when I was passing the Kenyan's i felt really strong like Don Cheadle or Anthea Turner. On my last effort to spur me on I pretended that I was at the bottom of the travelator  on the 90's hit TV programme Gladiators, when I  finished the rep I got hold of the rope and jumped through the barrier, after I jumped through the barrier I did a interview with John Fashunu who told me well done and see you in the next round. Overall I was pleased with this session.
Later in the evening me Nick, Karl and Victor played headers and volleys, after a few games we decided to play keepy up's and if you dropped the ball 3 times you had to line up against the wall and the other players got a free shot at you. Nick seen this as a perfect opportunity to get revenge on Victor ( 13 years old ) who had accidentally broke our flask on Saturday.

                                            Nick getting his revenge

Nick kept trying to set Victor up so he dropped the ball so that he could kick the ball at him, when Victor lined up against the wall with his back turned, Nick rather than kick the ball he picked it up and threw it narrowly  missing his head. Me being the nice guy I am purposely missed so that I had to join him against the wall.

                                           Karl chose to shoot at Victor

 The good news is out of all this I purchased a new flask and named it Denzil after Hollywood super mega movie star Denzil Washington.

                                                        Big Denzil

Nothing much happened on Tuesday apart from going for a run early morning for 60 minutes, a trip into town for some beans and rice and some sunbathing training, after the sunbathing training we found a dog wandering outside the house, it has red eyes and runs at you with it's mouth open with it's mangled teeth, it sort of looks like it's going to attack you but it's probably the most friendly dog you will ever come across. I sort of see it like a Ian Dowie of the dog world, it's pretty ugly but means no harm and if it bites you more than likely you will get a disease.

                                                     Tuskin snr
 Later in the evening me and Nick teamed up on the cooking kind of like Will Smith and Martin Lawrence did in Bad boys and Bad boys 2 apart from they where fighting crime and we where chopping onions and tomatoes. Overall the meal was pretty good and no doubt there will be a sequel to our cooking.

JT

I don't see nothing wrong with a little beans and rice

My journey off self discovery in Kenya began on Sunday, leaving from Heathrow airport after a good weekend of dancing in London. My flight arrived early Monday morning in Nairobi and it was from there I had to make the journey up to Iten by Matutu, as usual this was quite dangerous weaving in and out of cars with lorries coming towards us. Luckily me and Karl arrived in Iten about 6 hours later and was greeted by Nick Swinburn who at the time was walking his dog Roger whilst eating some custard creams.
Soon as we arrived he showed us to our crib and off we went for a 30 minute run, during the run I found out that this was his 5th run of the day, when he told me I laughed at him but he just replied " I'm no pussy man"

                                                         Our crib

Them four simple words " I'm no pussy man" kind of make sense just like the words of such greats as Martin Luther King " I have a dream" Bruce Forsyth " Nice to see you, to see you nice" and finally Shaggy " It wasn't me" them four simple words describe what Nick is all about, His no pussy man!
Nothing exciting happened on Tuesday, Me Karl and Nick did 60 minutes in the morning with Nick doing squat thrust star jumps every 10 minutes ( approximately 10 ) once the run was finished I had a cold shower and headed into town for some food so that we could cook in the evening. I quite enjoy cooking in the evening as it passes time and I feel the celebrity TV chef Ainsley Ramsey.

On Wednesday me Nick, Karl Josephat and Zane Robertson did a long run , which was pretty long and quite runnish, as the run was nearing to the end and the pace picked up me and Karl slowly dropped off the pace. Overall I was quite pleased as it was my first long run at altitude and I didn't feel too bad, I know that with a  few more of these runs I will become strong like the Gladiator Saracen or even Don Cheadle in the film Ironman 2.
Yet again this was followed by a cold shower, a trip into town for some beans and rice and mid afternoon tea at Nicks apartment. We decided to take a flask full of tea up to Kerio view which overlooks the rift valley, after me and Nick drank the tea we walked along the cliff tops.

                                                Looking at Rift valley 

 Here we spotted to big cliff rocks and Nick decided to jump from each rock with a 1000ft drop lurching below, I joined him on the rock equipped with my Salomon Crossmax which I would say helped me out a lot as it withstood 80% more absorption than any other leading sports brands. We both decided to step down from the rocks as the next jump Nick was planning was way out of his jump range and would probably be the end of him ( it took about 5 minutes for him to realise he wouldn't make it)

                                      Me and Nick jumping from cliff rocks

Thursday was my first session which was just 6x40 secs off 40secs included in my 60 min morning run, it went quite well as it was only short and didn't tire me out for what lay ahead in the afternoon. So another cold shower a walk into town and more beans and rice, after the food we went to the chemist to buy 20 litres of water each ( 2 bottles ) Nick decided that he didn't want to pay 20p to have all of the 6 bottles took to our apartment so challenged me and Karl to carry 20 litres home, I was against it until Nick said " don't be a pussy man" that was it I thought I'm no pussy man so I put the two 10 litre bottles on my sun burnt shoulders and started the 23 minute walk from town to our apartment. Me and Nick managed to get back to the apartment only stopping twice, we had to wait on our second stop for Karl who was accompanied by a random Kenyan who had to help him carry a bottle, after Karl met us at the second checkpoint the random Kenyan left the other bottle with him and off we went again, with only 800 meter's left I took both of my bottles back to our apartment and then had to head back to Karl who had only managed to take them 200 meter's.
Me being the hero I am I took both of the bottles off Karl and finished the final 600 meter's of the journey to our apartment, when I put them down my shoulders where sore but the feeling of being a hero just like Steven Seagal in the film Under Siege helped ease the pain.

                                   Being a hero and carrying Karl's bottles back

I went to Nick's crib after dropping off our bottles where he said " aye that's canny good training we will have to do that every week" in all fairness his probably right as his no pussy man. So every week we will be doing the water challenge which is sure to make us all strong like the band Cleopatra.
Haven't really done much today apart from a 60 minute run in the morning, beans and rice for dinner and went for a evening run with Karl and some random Kenyan who promised to make me a household name just like Les Battersby. Karl's currently in the kitchen chopping tomatoes and onions ( probably for the first time ever ). By the time this trip is over Karl is going to be a top chef like Gordon Oliver and will no doubt get the girl he deserves!

                                   Karl becoming a chef like Gordon Oliver


Tomorrow is my first big session so hopefully I will survive that so I can keep you posted on my journey of self discovery like!
JT

It's probably best that you book a day off work before reading this

This time last week around 7pm my journey to Slovenia had begun. I travelled from Manchester to Stansted, I wasn't travelling till 1.30pm the next day and hadn't booked a hotel so decided to sleep in the airport. The only reason I decided to do this is because it would save me over £100 by not paying for a hotel and travelling down on the day was expensive.
So I arrived at about 11pm in the hope of finding some seats to sleep on, but to my luck they where all taken by professional airport sleepers. After doing a full lap of the airport I decided to go into Spar and buy some cider and monster munch, after purchasing these essential items I sat down on the floor next to the seats just waiting for someone to move. As I sat down drinking my cider and eating my monster munch I thought back to last year when I was doing this race for England and how I hadn't drunk in nearly 2 months in preparation for this race, here I am 1 year on a bloody lad!
So after a uncomfortable 14 hours in the airport I board the plane and make my way to Slovenia, 3 hours on and I arrive at my hotel which has kindly been paid for by the race organisers including free pick up and all you can eat food!!
Soon as I arrived I went out for a 40 minute run where I waved and said HIYA to the locals and avoided tripping over cabbages.
Soon as I arrived at the hotel, Emma clayton Accompanied by her Dad Phil and her boyfriend Ste + Adam Osborne and Nat White. After they had unpacked and done their runs we sat down for dinner and us lot being proper lads we had a beer.

The next day was pretty good as we decided to head into Ljublijana to conquer some castles and taste some Slovenian COCK, after about 2 hours of walking round the city in the hot Slovenian sun I decided it would be best to hydrate myself so I ended up having some COCK drink which did the trick and put a smile upon my face.
After hours of fun in the city we got a taxi back to the hotel, me Adam and Nat went for a 20 minute easy run followed by some strides and I decided to do some dance drills. Soon as I finished my run to good timing the England team had arrived at the hotel consisting of the boss man Greg Hull also known as great egg, Tom and Mark Addison who are like my brothers from another mothers, Joe Morwood Freddie Slemeck and Dionne Allen + Ali lavender. The team was also accompanied by Sharron Woods and Emma Bayliss from Wales + not to forget Lauren the big cat Jeska who is just a salting brilliant person.
After I had greeted the England team we headed up to another hotel where the opening ceremony thing was taking place. Pretty much all of the team turned to me on the way to the hotel and said " Josh I'm really glad your doing this race as your a really nice person and it would be rubbish without you" I could only agree with them.
Because we arrived quite early to the ceremony we had to wait outside, as we stood outside this gave us plenty of time to talk, most of us stood up in a circle and chatted to Lauren the big cat Jeska listening to how the other night she had a 15 incher. To mine and the rest of the group stood around we where all shocked because she doesn't seem the type of person who would have a 15 incher, like maybe a 9 incher but definitely not a 15 incher. I explained to her how it's weird that having a 9 incher in each hand is obviously more than a 15 incher but seems more manageable.(pizza)
So the opening ceremony started with a meal that consisted of pasta salad pasta and more pasta followed by cake. Soon as the cake was being served me and Dionne raced up like as fast as Eugene Bulk and Asolph Trowell, it seemed at this point that this trip would be competitive between the both of us but as you will find out in like 12 hours after reading the rest of this we sort of became a team like Laurel and Hardy. After Dionne had sampled each cake and put them back on the table as if they haven't been slightly eaten she decided that the cakes didn't match her high standards.
When the eating had been finished the race organiser Tomo Sarf went through the race and handed out the numbers to the other competitors which included some Swiss Italian Austrian Turkish wardrobes and the Hungary people who where in fact very Hungary all weekend as they spent most of the time around the food table ( Dionne can back this one up )

Race day
I woke up around 6 am to do my stretches for my hip which has pretty much been a problem since Kenya which has had a big affect on my year and made me run like a little girl, to add to this after months of physio on the hip and in the last few weeks getting in some decentish races I went out after the Northern road relays for the big dance and injured my back throwing shapes on the dance floor. As of last Monday I wasn't going to come to Slovenia as I couldn't barely walk without being in agony, but lucky for me I have a good physio ( Duncan Mason ) he's pretty well good and you should see him if you have any problems.
After the stretching I head down for breakfast to join Phil Adam Ali Greg and Dionne for the free food. I sat across from Ali and Dionne and they both couldn't believe how big my banana was.
I arrived to the race with Emmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaa Ste Phil, Adam and Nat. Soon as I arrive the Slovenian music is pumping out beside the track, I sit down for around 20 minutes and start to think about the big dance and what moves I'm going to pull off.
20 mins later and team England arrive with the boss man Greg, I went for a warm up with the Addisons, as we warmed up I through in a bit of dancing as we passed the opposition trying to physce them out ( pretty much well did )
So 10 minutes till it all kicks off, I remove my pants and top so I'm just down to my shorts and my brilliant purple Northumberland fell runners vest, then the final piece of my dance outfit my orange Salomon speedcross 2 which are an essential piece of kit if you want to dance with the big boys. I suggest to anyone who hasn't got these that they should go out and buy some because they're pretty well good, I went from being last picked in the team to the captain, thanks Salomon for making my life better.

        Me and Tom wearing the speedcross 2 and pretty much winning in life

So I'm stood on the start line in the middle of the pack not wanting to get caught in a fast start, I'm stood next to Ali who's looking pretty cool in her England kit and of course some Salomon speed cross 2. As I stand there waiting for the gun to go off I notice what I can only describe as a man wearing speedos, not wanting to keep this to myself I point it out to Ali. She looked as shocked as I did!
The gun goes off and I'm pretty chilled out like somebody sunbathing, after about 70 seconds I pass Lauren the big cat Jeska and because I wanted her to do well I slapped myself in the head and screamed go on LOZZA. About 20 minutes into the race in order Adam Tom Joe Mark some italian and me are closely bunched together. As we went up the first main climb I shouted up to them " come on England work together this is beautiful" when we get to the top and descend this is when they opened a bigger gap on me as my lower back started to hurt and slowed me down. On the second descent where Nat White was watching I got to the bottom and nearly flew off the edge but luckily a bounded off the tree like a super action movie hero. Back to the climbing and I was closing down the gap on the lads who where closely bunnched together.
I finished strongly on the last hill to take 14th with Mark just behind me then Adam and Joe 1 place infront and Tom a further 2 places infront then the smoothest guy I know Orlando Edwards finished 9th, Freddie finished in 21st which is a solid debut to say he's new to mountain running! I was pleased with my race as it was a better time than last year and I feel like I can improve lots next season if I stay injury free and hopefully top 5 and get closer to the wardrobe.

                                                        Doing the race
Emmmmmmmmaaaa Clayton finished 7th which meant she finished 3rd in the overall series which is pretty well good( I'm proud of you ) Dionne finished 9th after falling but luckily this didn't affect her good dancing on the night out, in 10th place was Ali who had a good run despite being stuck behind a man in speedos at the start of the race.
Keeping to my tradition of the race I drank 3 beers pretty much straight afterwards and watched the ceremony where Orlando Tom and Joe collected some prize money and not to forget Emmmmmmmmaaaaaa Clayton.

                                          2 nice guys collecting moneys

I made my way back the mountain hand in hand with Tom who I felt really safe with, when we got to the bottom we waited for the hotel to pick us up. To make the time pass I played some basketball with Ste Tom and Ali.
I was getting loads of basketball goal shots just like the legendary basketballer Michael Jackson. The basketball prematurely ended for me as my back was killing so I went and sat down with the others.

                                         After the race at the start

Presentation time= free wine
All of us went to the hotel looking really fashionable and ready to drink free wine and beer, when we arrived we pretty much did that. As usual the Hungary team was hanging around the food table living up to there name ( Dionne will agree with me )
After hours of drinking eating rose petals and watching Emmaaaaaa receiving her medal we headed into town

                                     Everyone really enjoying the free drinks

I handed my phone to Tom and said ring the hotel and ask them to take us into town. As I'm walking down with Ste Emmmaaaa Mark Nat and Dionne I heard Tom saying " Hiya it's Tom Addison I've just done a mountain race, I was wondering if you can take is into town? " I'm not sure what hotel where staying at but your going to take us" I was in stitches and literally doing one of them ROFLS, I did tell him that it was our hotel his ringing.
To all of our shock the hotel Taxi picks us up out of nowhere and takes us into town and the night out begins.
The first bar we went in Seemed to be full of Slovenian gangsters and working girls, not to be bothered about this we sat down and fueled up for the big dance. Dionne downed her drink closely followed by me then trailing slowly behind was Tom. Mark and Emmmmmaaaa decided to play a drinking game which consisted of flipping a coin a drinking your alcoholical drink if you picked the wrong side, I decided to play my own game of 1 2 3 get f****d in which you repeatedly down your drink after 3 at any time of saying it.
Bar number two was a little, quiet pub and after ordering our drinks we began dancing after back to back good songs came on like The fine young cannibals and Survivor to name a few, looking around the bar I noticed that we where the only ones dancing and having a good time. I think that all of our good moves intimidated the locals who just store on in amazement.

                                          The dance had started

So it was job done in this bar and it was onto the Elevator club to show off our good moves to a larger crowd, wasting no time me and Dionne fueled ourselves at the bar and began to pull out some pretty amazing moves. In all my years as a good dancer when I'm out not many people I know can match my moves but me and Dionne gelled just like Andy Cole and Dwight Yorke did, people looked on in amazement as we finished off on our signature the teacup which for legal reasons I cannot tell you how to do the move because it takes 2 good dancers and if you try it you WILL get hurt. Job done in this place.

                            Two really good people doing some really good moves

We headed back to the second pub for more dancing but after we left the place the locals had heard all about us and had packed the place out. We took our dancing to the street as each and everyone of us needed space to create our dance shapes. 30 Minutes on and we decided that we wanted to head back home as racing and dancing made us very tired eggs.

Sunday/Funday
I managed to survive all of the dancing without any major injuries and had a brilliant night out which I'm sure everyone else will agree on. Boss man Greg had planned a trip to Lake Bohinj with the English team and the welsh ladies which I went along to because it probably wouldn't be the same without me. Emmmmmmaaaa Ste Phil Nat and Adam + Lauren the big cat Jeska went to Lake bled because they where flying home later that day, we dropped them off on the way to Lake Bohinj because it was on the way so we said our goodbyes and did a bit of waving and I threw a few thumbs up and that.
This was a brilliant day, when we arrived I felt really tired and hungover and wanting to throw a boat at my head. I decided not to throw a boat at my head because I ended up going on a run with Tom Mark Joe Freddie and Dionne with Greg Sharon Ali and Emma setting off in front.
As I ran down the road for the 1st 15 minutes waving to people driving by I thought to myself this run is pretty boring I wish I was eating olive oil with salt, but then as we merged off into a trail we where surrounded by some pretty awesome mountains and lakes that where so clear that if you threw a pebble in you would almost certainly see it.

                                  Where we all ran and enjoyed ourselves

It was probably one of the best runs I have ever done in terms of scenery and running with some good people. When we completed the running we headed to a restaraunt for some pizza, I think the waiter that was serving us had just been told that he was to work 2 years for free or that his racing pigeons had all died.
I was just shocked out how you can come up to a bunch of nice people like us and not be happy. Dick.
My pizza was actually nice but sadly it was overshadowed by a dick, after this we headed into the freezing cold lake for a swim which was pretty cool. I'm more of a dancer than a swimmer but as I got my swim on and looked around at the mountains I thought I'm pretty much winning in life.
After our swim the girls sunbathed along with Greg and his nice umbrella, us lads had a left hand skimming contest on the lake which was pretty good. As we all threw our pebbles with our left hand we all looked really really special! this was followed by a game of not clay but big rock not pigeon shooting of a rock, this also added to the graph of fun.
We finished our day off at Lake Bohinj with some ice creams and headed back to the hotel where we would have another drink and listen to Tom do a scouse accent and tell us about how half a bird hit his mate which had me laughing out loud. Just before we all went to bed  me and Dionne took a statue of Laurel and Hardy up the stairs and placed it outside Sharron and Emma's room in which a note was placed on top that said " Hey babes I used to be all laurel but now I'm hardy, Greg xxxxx"

                               Greg placed his love note upon these guys heads

Monday was the last day for everyone apart from me so after our morning run me Tom Mark Sharron Ali Emma and Dionne headed into Ljuilbana before the flew out in the evening.
After a few hours of wandering around I decided to get a 6 scoop ice cream which was pretty big, in England you would need planning permission but in Slovenia you make your own rules. After eating the 6 scoop I really felt like I could go onto achieve great things in life like eat a 7 scoop or even handle 15 inches of ice cream. We only had about 1 hour left in town so we made the most of it by looking in a sports shop and waiting for the idiot taxi driver to turn up. As we waited Dionne told me how she wanted a ice cream and after a little wander around and not finding any ice cream stalls I went on a little mission to get her an ice cream.

I think I ran like a 3.17 minute mile to get to a ice cream shop to get a strawberry cornetto for her, I then ran back at a steadier pace in 3.18 minute mile hoping that she would be dead happy that I got her ice cream but then she told me that she only liked vanilla. I then stood at the side of the road disappointed with myself eating my seventh scoop of ice cream. I am pretty sure though that I'm still her hero so it wasn't such a bad thing.
We arrived back at the hotel 30 minutes before the taxi was going to take everyone away from me, I could see that everyone looked emotional at the thought of leaving me behind. Dionne wasted no time In getting the last bit of sun and topping her tan up by sitting on a chair in the middle of the road as cars swerved past her like a action movie film, I must also mention how fashionable she has been this trip and wore a smart outfit for every occasion.
Time was up and everyone got into the minibus and waved goodbye to me, I could see and smell the tears in the air as they said goodbye to a really nice person ME! I did the usual thing when you say goodbye like rub your hand on the window to Tom and Dionne and I also chased down the minibus waving shouting noooooo!
I then walked back to the hotel where I sat down with a beer and reminisced about the good times.
About 2 hours later I had tea and comfort eated over the loss of all them good eggs, I did pretty well because I had about 3 plates full followed by lying on my bed feeling really ill watching Eraser starring Arnold Schwarzenegger

The last day
So it was down to me to finish this mission off, I felt like Jack Bourne or Geoff Bond a lone action hero. I started the day off with some breakfast as per usual, after 2 hours I did a session on the road which consisted of 12x 1 minute off a minute.
The session was complete and I had my final Slovenian shower before checkout time, now it was time to fill up 5 hours before I fly, I decided to walk into the next town for a supermarket which took about 70 minutes.
I arrived at the supermarket and bought some jagermeister cola and some fish chips for my dinner.

                                                              Dinner

After having all of these I headed to another supermarket 30 minutes further away and spent my last euro's on some beer. I walked back to the hotel drinking beer and listening to WHAM looking pretty fashionable and thinking I'm pretty much winning in life. I arrived back to the hotel in time and got took to the airport to end a pretty well good trip in Slovenia.
This trip wouldn't of been as good if all of the people mentioned didn't come, so thanks for turning up.
I've learnt a lot of stuff and feel like I have got clevererar
JT

I didn't take EPO but came very close to scissor kicking a kid in the face

Well I'm back in England now after spending 9 weeks in Kenya, the 9 weeks have definitely paid of because just as me and Nick was leaving the plane the air stewardess complimented us on our proper well good tans. The last week in Kenya was pretty good but not so much running wise for me. Last Thursday Alyson Dixon came back out to Kericho so that she could prepare for her upcoming marathon after having a successful spell out here in our in the 1st 3 weeks in which she went home and won all of her races in Pb's and tops the rankings in both the 10k and half marathon, unfortunately for her though she won't be coming back as tanned as me and Nick because just as we where leaving the rain season had just started in Kericho, unlucky Alyson! so when Aly arrived we wasted no time in showing her our usual day since she left, we went for a 40min run in the morning and then went for a curry at a restaurant followed by our last trip to the tea hotel so we could watch Under Siege for the 5th time, by the 5th viewing we both knew pretty much all the words to the film so said them out loud before Steven Seagal did. Friday was the day that I managed to pick up a groin injury by doing some lunges for a minute, I feel ashamed to say that after doubling my mileage up for the last 8 weeks or so and not having problems with that, that I would pick a injury up by doing faggy lunges. This injury is nearly as bad as when Darius Vassell injured himself when he popped a blood blister with a cordless drill. Just before dinner me and Nick decided to go for a walk because we couldn't be bothered to wait around in camp, so we walked alongside the road and bumped into Stan, Stan then took us to the pub for a barbecue. After we ate the food we both agreed that it was the best beef we had ate in along time, only to discover a hour later that it was actually goat. After the food Stan decided that he wanted to buy me and Nick 3 bottles of wine and before we knew it we was sat with some random Kenyan guys in the garden listening to the vengaboys having the times of our lives. One of the Kenyan guys who was sat with us was telling us about how proud he was about he's daughter and that she is going to grow up to be the prime minister, after he had told us this he put down he's bottle of vodka ( now empty ) and told us that he is going to pick her up from school and bring her to the pub, true to he's word he actually did and he even bought me and Nick some samosas, what a really nice guy he was. Sunday was meant to be my last session in Kenya but because of my groin I could only manage fag pace so decided not to do the session, so me and Aly just watched Nick put himself in pain on he's own. This was the Nick 1st proper running session after weeks and weeks of sessions that involved biscuit eating, you could sort of tell because when he was running you could see trails of digestive crumbs and o.n the last rep he actually looked like a massive custard cream. On Monday we left Kericho and made our way down to lake Naivasha so it was goodbye to lots of painful runs and thankfully goodbye to Stano who manged to cry for the whole 9 weeks and pretty much never let us get to sleep, Stano is pretty lucky not to have received a kick in the face because Matt Nick and myself came pretty close to doing so, if any of you are reading this and thinking that this is tight you shouldn't because more than likely he will grow up to become a really bad person. When we arrived in Naivasha by coach we got dropped off under a motorway bridge with loads of Kenyan hells angels there, soon as we got dropped off they came running over offering to take us to a hotel, our first thoughts was that it wasn't going to happen because there was no way they could give us a lift with our massive backpacks. Before we could even make a decision they had grabbed our bags of us loaded them on to the front of their bikes and told us to jump on, the guy on my bike had my backpack between he's legs and he was also on the phone. It was pretty mental to say the least as we where overtaking big lorries and weaving in and out of cars, it sort of felt like yet again I was in a action film like I was in Bad boys 3 chasing after bad guys, After all of the action packed driving we pulled up at our hotel and it is here when we realised that we wasn't in a action film and that we was living a life of 2 simple guys trying to make their way in life whilst looking pretty tanned. After we had unpacked our bags at the hotel we went for a walk around a country hotel and saw lots of animals like Giraffes, Zebras, Impalas, Buffaloes and even a Ziraffe which is a cross bread between a Zebra and Giraffe, It was pretty good because we got within touching distance and we felt like we where two proper well tanned people filming a documentary on the geographical channel. The hotel was for posh and rich people only so me and Nick being poor and tanned couldn't afford to stay there but that didn't stop us ordering brews and booking it to room number 5. Our last day in Kenya was pretty eventful, at about 3 in the morning me and Nick was chasing a Mosquito around the room trying to kill it, I headbutted it about 3 time Nick uppercutted it twice but the bastard wouldn't die so we spent most of the night trying to kill it, as you may or may not know Mosquito causes the more deaths than snakes, spiders, tigers, lions and sharks combined so in theory we would of been safer sleeping in a room with a lion. At about 10am we made our way to Mt Longonot on motorbikes and yet again it felt like we where Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. As we pulled up to the mountain at the main gates where your meant to pay we decided that we didn't want to pay so we walked out of site from the main gate and made our way through the long grass and up to the mountain, as we walked through the grass I could of swore that I could hear snakes but Nick just laughed when I mentioned it to him. Just before we got to the climb a few Impala's ran past us making us jump, we then made our way onto the tourist path out of site of the main gate and after about a hour we finally got to the top of the mountain which is actually a extinct volcano, we then made our way around the crater rim which is about 10km and it took us about 2hours. After we made our way around the crater rim we headed back down the mountain and the plan was to walk as much as we could on the tourist path and avoid the main entrance but just as we was about to head into the long grass we saw a security guard coming towards us so we pretty much knew what was happening. When he got over to us he told us that he could arrest us for not paying so he took me and Nick into a room and started questioning us asking why we walked around the main gate, so we told him that we wanted to get close to the animals and that we where going to pay after coming down, at this point I was thinking that he was going to lock us in the room and call the police and if this would of happened we would of missed our flights. We both kept saying how we liked Giraffe's and this is when he realised that we where just to good eggs and he just decided to let us off with paying, after we had payed we asked what other animals was up and around the mountain and he told us that there where lots of snakes in the grass, so when I said to Nick before about the snakes I was pretty much correct. After we climbed the mountain we headed back to the hotel to pack our bags shower and make our way to Nairobi airport, we travelled by minibus and yet again I had to sit next to a fat women whose elbows and big fat legs kept touching me now and again, about 1 hour into the journey Nick turned around and showed me what it said about the place where the minibus was dropping us off, It said that this street was a popular place for muggings of tourist with big bags so the next hour sat in the minibus had me thinking what I would do if somebody tried to mug me, the best thing I could think was to repeatedly punch myself in the face whilst laughing because I'm pretty sure if I would of done this then the mugger would of ran off and targeted a normal person. Luckily we didn't get mugged or bummed and made it safely to the airport, when we arrived in England we got told that our bags was still in Switzerland so we had to make our way from London with only our hand luggage so in a way it was pretty good because I didn't have to trail around my bag and it arrived this morning. As we sat on the tube me and Nick was talking about how ignorant and miserable English people are compared to Kenyan's so as we where saying this some oldish women sat up and offered her seat to a pregnant women, we both felt like 2 horrible well tanned people and both said how we feel bad. The next 40 minutes spent on the tube we where hoping for a old women to come on or even another pregnant women so that we could offer our seats, this didn't happen so we arrived at Kings cross station still feeling bad. We both made our separate ways home and as I was saying goodbye to Nick I could see the emotion in he's eyes but he managed to fight back the tears and got onto he's train to Newcastle loaded with a KFC wicked zinger meal and probably a pack of custard creams.I'm not sure if Nick managed to do a good deed on he's train but I did by letting a old women read my newspaper, I know it's not the same as offering your seat to a pregnant women but it's better than stuffing your face with biscuits and not doing a thing.So it's back to reality for the both of us after an amazing 9 weeks in Kenya which was made possible due to Ian Ladbrooke's generosity so it's a big thanks to him and we would also like to thank Matt Pierson who kept us entertained for the first 3 weeks with he's views on life and people which we reminisced about over our last few weeks. I'm sort of liking being back with having home comforts like warm showers a tv a big comfy bed and the thought of always having toilet roll and not having to substitute it for bread, the only rubbish thing is going to be going back to work but as soon as I go back I'm going to start saving up for another trip out to Kenya later this year so that I can be a action movie star like Will smith. Thanks for reading my blogs, your all a bunch of bloody good eggs!
JT

We care more about our tan than our running

This time next week me and Nick will have just arrived in England hopefully better tanned people and maybe a little better at running. So since the last blog I have done 4 tough sessions and done some running training, the session on Tuesday didn't go as planned by me leading the whole way and doing lots of windmilling. It still went pretty well but at the end of the session as usual me and Nick looked close to dying and the Kenyans looked fine. After the session we went for dinner at the pub just down the road from our village, as we waited for dinner me and Nick played pool, after me and Nick played I asked Ben if he fancied a game. Ben told me that he had never played before and what an absolute liar he was, he was playing loads of trick shots and moonwalking round the table and stuff. He beat me at the 1st game but when I played him the 2nd time it was him who was made to look like a little girl. Wednesday yet again saw me and Nick go to the tea hotel and to our delight Under Siege was showing, as I posted in the last blog the big fat American women spoilt the film by getting it turned over to BBC world news. This time there was no stupid fat horrible American women in sight so we could both enjoy all off the killings and the 10 seconds of boobage. Thursday was another hill session with Simon Ben and Geoffrey, the session went pretty good because I managed to win like 2 reps, Nick was doing a session of he's own which was something like 6x custard creams off jaffa cake recovery and then 20x bourbon biscuit with digestive recovery. Whilst out here Nick found that Mcvities are wanting to sponsor him and without no hesitation he took the offer straight away and celebrated with a pack of custard cream. Well done Nick. Saturday was session number 3 on the track which was 20x300m off 1min recovery, after the 14th rep I started to get lactic in my tongue. Nick has mentioned this to me before how it sometimes happens to him, I always thought he was being strange but maybe it's meant to happen to special people like us. On Saturday night something life changing happened to me I fed a hungry possibly dying homeless Kenyan child a jam sandwich, as I was walking around camp I bumped into the dying hungry homeless child and it came clear to me that if I didn't run into my room and make him a jam sandwich that he would probably die of hunger. This sort of reminded me of that biblical story when Jeremy fed like 1000 people with chicken and eggs, I kind of see myself now as the modern day Jeremy and I feel that this is just the beginning to solving world hunger. So after my heroics of Saturday night I had a day off running after training everyday for the last 7weeks and went to watch the football at the tea hotel to watch united play like girls and get destroyed off Dirk Kuyt, after the game it started to rain and hailstone. I have never panicked so much in my life all's I could think was if this carries on for the rest of the week I could go home not that tanned but luckily it only lasted for 2 days and since then me and Nick have managed two good sunbathing sessions. On Tuesday me Nick and a few other Kenyans did 5x1000m and for once we wasn't at the back beating a few Kenyans on all of the reps. I've realised since being out here that you don't need that much in life to survive, obviously you need to drink Super Skol and eat chicken to live but you don't need much else. All's you need is a bed with 2 blankets ( just in case it gets cold) toilet roll or bread and some porn ( if your reading this mum this is from Nicks point of view as i find it very degrading towards women). I think I have two more sessions left and then on monday where going on a safari and running up a volcano before we fly home on tuesday night, the plan for tuesday is get drunk before the flight arrive in heathrow get our bags and then head straight to kfc go to a Tesco buy some cider and then try live our lives as real athletes.
JT